Something amazing happened today! Well, it probably won't be amazing to any parent reading this, but I got taught a good lesson from Prince Matt himself.
We had just gotten home from a long day. I've been sick for a few days, and today was the first day of real work and I was exhausted. Matt was all day at the daycare, and that always wears him out. We had to swing by work because I forgot something, and then we made a pit stop at Toys R Us (didn't buy anything, they were out of stock of the table and chair set I---Matt---wanted). Anyway, by the time we got home and walked the dogs, it had been a pretty tiring day. As soon as I sat down to rest, Matt started whining and went to his normal seat at the table, indicating he wanted to eat. So, being the really wonderful mom I am, I made him some happy face 10-layer lasagna from scratch, along with an elaborate tasty-looking outdoor scene made from veggies all while cleaning my kitchen and dancing with Matt.
Ok..I made him a peanut butter sandwich. Hey--he'd eaten well all day! Anyway, they're his favorite right now, good source of protien, and easy.
Well right away as soon as he saw the sandwich he began to scream. He screamed when I put him in the chair and he tried to throw it across the room. He pointed to my water, I gave it to him and he tried to throw it. He screamed when I took them away. When I put them back. And so on. Then Dad came home and that made everything worse (more audience!). He didn't want to eat it on our laps or walking around. Finally we ask him what he wants and he goes to the fridge and picks out yogurt. Fine--so we give him yogurt and he seems happy. A couple spoonfuls in, however, he decides he is done and starts screaming louder than before and threw himself on the floor and banged his head on the floor several times. I was appalled--I'd seen him act like this before but this time I felt really bad for him. He obviously wanted something and he couldn't express it and he was frustrated--though I think his body and his mind wanted different things.
We tried holding him, letting him go--nothing. More screaming and throwing fits. Sean said shower? And I told him no, Matt didn't want a shower. Sean got mad because that always cheers him up and I didn't want to. Not that I didn't want to, but I just KNEW it was something else. I knew he needed to be shown that he was loved and understood, and not just keep offering things up until he took something. Sean left (he had to go somewhere), and I took Matt into his room, shut the door, and rocked him in his chair, even as he was screaming. I didn't say anything and suddenly! He relaxed, gave one big shuddering sigh, and looked up into my eyes and didn't break contact for a whole minute! (remember, this is the kid with the attention span of a fly). He then started smiling, and turned around and hugged me and rested his head. After about 20 minutes of that (and eventually some talking and a few books), I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes, and I asked him if he wanted to eat his sandwich and he went to the door.
He sat down and ate his sandwich perfectly, and did everything I told him happily (throw away the rest, put your plate away, go get me a diaper, get undressed). Just an amazing turnaround. No fussing for anything (so unusual near bedtime), and when it was time for bed I hugged him again, told him to get into bed, and he went. Laid down, no crying, let me tuck him in and leave.
So my lesson was: Sometimes even though I'm really tired and have had a bad day, and it would be so nice to give him an easy fix, he just needs mom even if he doesn't say it. And only mom--no dogs, phones, tvs or anything. It was so refreshing and made everything better. Yay!
